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Archive for the ‘Breaking News’ Category

O Romero, Romero!

In Breaking News, Local News, Medical on October 12, 2009 at 6:08 pm
This HAZMAT tent was errected next to Virtue Memorial Hospital. Inside, bite victims Arashi Ryba and Zoey Clowes await the antidote serum from Dr. Richard Stevenson.

This HAZMAT tent was errected next to Virtue Memorial Hospital. Inside, bite victims Arashi Ryba and Zoey Clowes await the antidote serum from Dr. Richard Stevenson CDC.

On the streets of Missing Mile it was a case of dead men walking – literally.

Those irreparably infected with the Romero virus, commonly known as Zombies, helped themselves to a smörgåsbord of human flesh as unsuspecting citizens ran for their lives.

This is not the first time the Romero virus has surfaced in Missing Mile, though after remaining dormant for so long, the question lingers; why now? What has brought this virus of the undead back to life in our city?

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Cell-13 deliver written confession

In Breaking News, Terrorism on October 5, 2009 at 11:08 am
A letter claiming to be from the Cell-13 leader appeared after a rocket propelled explosion obliterated the patrol vehicle of North Carolina State Highway Patrol Trooper Romeo Staheli earlier today.  Remarkably, he lived to tell the tale.
“I noticed two large green Szym made utility trucks approach my vehicle. They stopped in front of the Sacred Yew and one man stepped from the driver’s side of the first truck. As soon as he exited I knew trouble was coming.”
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The suspect was described as being clothed head to toe in military garb in addition to wearing full body armor and an automatic rifle ( speculated to be of Soviet origin).
“He opened fire on my parked cruiser, shattering my windshield and making me scramble out and towards the rear,” describes Trooper Staheli in chilling detail.
“He paused after firing several rounds, and I took that pause as my chance to act. I drew my USP pistol and ran West towards the trailer park, firing off several rounds as I went. Shortly after that I heard the sound of a rocket launcher being fired. The projectile then hit my vehicle and exploded, knocking me to the ground and decimating my vehicle.”
Trooper Staheli quickly rose in time to see one of the Szym trucks drive past and it was then that he heard something drop from the cab.
saw a grenade, which caused me to dive for cover again. After around half a minute of waiting and no explosion I surmised that the grenade was either a dummy or was not operating correctly. I did not see any more of the green trucks that day, nor of their two operators.”
“I saw a grenade, which caused me to dive for cover again. After around half a minute of waiting and no explosion I surmised that the grenade was either a dummy or was not operating correctly. I did not see any more of the green trucks that day, nor of their two operators.”
Trooper Staheli believes that a task force needs to be enacted between members of the NCSHP and their MMPD ESU counterparts in order to create a seamless network of shared information and leads on Cell-13.
Proving that the term trooper applies to Staheli in more ways than just rank, he finished with this statement; “I am currently back on duty, as my wounds are not great enough to stop me from enforcing the laws in North Carolina.”
This preceded the letter in which Cell-13 not only claimed responsibility for this explosion, but also for last week’s truck explosion which set Mooby’s aflame. Please find the complete translation below:
“The attack that took place today in your pathetic city was indeed made by Cell-13.  We have remained dormant for too long plotting our next attack. The increase in number of State Troopers in your city is making a fine target as I assume you found out today at around thirteen hundred hours.  I noticed we left you a nice present –  the cold war era hand grenade.  It should make a nice addition to your evidence collection, but as I know and you know by now, there are no prints or any genetic information that you can find on this hunk of metal and explosives.  The bombing that took place some time ago at that fast food place was indeed us.  It seems that the timer was set to go off a little bit early, but no matter, there was damage still done.  Do not think we have not been watching the city. We know what is going on.  After all, we are not your ordinary terrorist cell who does not think and just acts.  We are the new breed of terror and I assure you, we will not be leaving any time soon.
Leader of Cell-13″
MMPD Officials were also delivered a copy of this letter and are actively investigating.
The letter pictured above, written in Arabic, was delivered to the Missing Mile Times office in an unmarked package. We've had it translated for our readers only to discover Cell-13 have taken credit for 2 recent explosions within Missing Mile.

The letter pictured above was delivered to the Missing Mile Times office in an unmarked package. Written in Arabic, we've had it translated for our readers only to discover that Cell-13 have taken credit for two recent explosions within Missing Mile.

A letter claiming to be from Cell-13’s leader appeared after a rocket propelled explosion obliterated the patrol vehicle of North Carolina State Highway Patrol Trooper Romeo Staheli earlier today.  Remarkably, he lived to tell the tale.

“I noticed two large green Szym made utility trucks approach my vehicle. They stopped in front of the Sacred Yew and one man stepped from the driver’s side of the first truck. As soon as he exited I knew trouble was coming.”

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Baxter back on Missing Mile’s streets

In Breaking News, Gangs on October 2, 2009 at 10:28 pm

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MMPD Captain Lennon Daines and Lieutenant Sean Hawksby take custody of Jack Baxter from State Police liaison Lieutenant Richard Ceriano just prior to Baxter's formal release.

Jack Baxter, leader of The Firm and accused Machete Murderer, was released from prison today on to the streets of Missing Mile where he once reigned supreme.

“It’s good to be back,” said a smiling, if not taunting, Baxter.

However, it would seem the good news is not for all.  “Baxter getting out isn’t good for anyone,” countered Capt. Daines.

For members of The Firm, this is a day they’ve anticipated since his incarceration. “We are pleased that our dear friend is being given his freedom,” said one member who wished to remain anonymous.

“I can say we are all very excited of his release,” added Kytherean Thespian, reportedly The Firm’s third in command. It is this very chain of command that has the potential wreak the most havoc upon Baxter’s return to the top.

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‘Hockey’ season over in Missing Mile

In Breaking News, Crime, Gangs on September 26, 2009 at 8:40 pm
(L:R) Sgt. Oka Hancroft, Lt. Richard Ceriano, Det. Sgt. Elliot Karpov (behind), Firm (formerly Carbon) Leader Jack Baxter, Captain Lennon Daines, Detective Roxanna Vestieri, Sgt. Asuna Kaligawa

(L:R) Lt. Oka Hancroft, Lt. Richard Ceriano, Det. Sgt. Elliot Karpov (behind), The Firm (formerly Carbon) Leader Jack Baxter, Captain Lennon Daines, Det. Sgt Roxanna Vestieri, Sgt. Asuna Kaligawa

The mastermind behind Carbon and its infamous hockey mask was arrested in what nearly became a game of sudden death overtime.

Jack Baxter was charged with kidnapping, blackmail, two counts of assault on an officer, and three counts of homicide in connection with the ‘Machete Murders’. Ultimately, he was only convicted of kidnapping, blackmail, and one count of assault of an officer, which MMPD Captain Lennon Daines attributes to, “a lack of solid evidence, and witnesses who had since backed out of their agreements to cooperate.” Baxter was hereby sentenced to two weeks of jail time.

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Second body identified in Missing Mile’s ‘Machete Murders’

In Breaking News, Crime, Gangs on August 26, 2009 at 2:44 am
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Lieutenant Lennon Daines crouches above the body of Sal Ferrera, the second victim claimed by Missing Mile's 'Machete Murderer'.

In what seemed like a case of deja vu, another body was found mutilated by a machete, making this the second murder of its kind in only two days.

While the location and presentation were different than yesterday’s murder at the Missing Mile church, there were some alarming similarities.  Namely, the presence of both a machete and an axe in addition to the public display of the remains.

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