Missing Mile's Independent Voice

Cell-13 deliver written confession

In Breaking News, Terrorism on October 5, 2009 at 11:08 am
A letter claiming to be from the Cell-13 leader appeared after a rocket propelled explosion obliterated the patrol vehicle of North Carolina State Highway Patrol Trooper Romeo Staheli earlier today.  Remarkably, he lived to tell the tale.
“I noticed two large green Szym made utility trucks approach my vehicle. They stopped in front of the Sacred Yew and one man stepped from the driver’s side of the first truck. As soon as he exited I knew trouble was coming.”
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The suspect was described as being clothed head to toe in military garb in addition to wearing full body armor and an automatic rifle ( speculated to be of Soviet origin).
“He opened fire on my parked cruiser, shattering my windshield and making me scramble out and towards the rear,” describes Trooper Staheli in chilling detail.
“He paused after firing several rounds, and I took that pause as my chance to act. I drew my USP pistol and ran West towards the trailer park, firing off several rounds as I went. Shortly after that I heard the sound of a rocket launcher being fired. The projectile then hit my vehicle and exploded, knocking me to the ground and decimating my vehicle.”
Trooper Staheli quickly rose in time to see one of the Szym trucks drive past and it was then that he heard something drop from the cab.
saw a grenade, which caused me to dive for cover again. After around half a minute of waiting and no explosion I surmised that the grenade was either a dummy or was not operating correctly. I did not see any more of the green trucks that day, nor of their two operators.”
“I saw a grenade, which caused me to dive for cover again. After around half a minute of waiting and no explosion I surmised that the grenade was either a dummy or was not operating correctly. I did not see any more of the green trucks that day, nor of their two operators.”
Trooper Staheli believes that a task force needs to be enacted between members of the NCSHP and their MMPD ESU counterparts in order to create a seamless network of shared information and leads on Cell-13.
Proving that the term trooper applies to Staheli in more ways than just rank, he finished with this statement; “I am currently back on duty, as my wounds are not great enough to stop me from enforcing the laws in North Carolina.”
This preceded the letter in which Cell-13 not only claimed responsibility for this explosion, but also for last week’s truck explosion which set Mooby’s aflame. Please find the complete translation below:
“The attack that took place today in your pathetic city was indeed made by Cell-13.  We have remained dormant for too long plotting our next attack. The increase in number of State Troopers in your city is making a fine target as I assume you found out today at around thirteen hundred hours.  I noticed we left you a nice present –  the cold war era hand grenade.  It should make a nice addition to your evidence collection, but as I know and you know by now, there are no prints or any genetic information that you can find on this hunk of metal and explosives.  The bombing that took place some time ago at that fast food place was indeed us.  It seems that the timer was set to go off a little bit early, but no matter, there was damage still done.  Do not think we have not been watching the city. We know what is going on.  After all, we are not your ordinary terrorist cell who does not think and just acts.  We are the new breed of terror and I assure you, we will not be leaving any time soon.
Leader of Cell-13″
MMPD Officials were also delivered a copy of this letter and are actively investigating.
The letter pictured above, written in Arabic, was delivered to the Missing Mile Times office in an unmarked package. We've had it translated for our readers only to discover Cell-13 have taken credit for 2 recent explosions within Missing Mile.

The letter pictured above was delivered to the Missing Mile Times office in an unmarked package. Written in Arabic, we've had it translated for our readers only to discover that Cell-13 have taken credit for two recent explosions within Missing Mile.

A letter claiming to be from Cell-13’s leader appeared after a rocket propelled explosion obliterated the patrol vehicle of North Carolina State Highway Patrol Trooper Romeo Staheli earlier today.  Remarkably, he lived to tell the tale.

“I noticed two large green Szym made utility trucks approach my vehicle. They stopped in front of the Sacred Yew and one man stepped from the driver’s side of the first truck. As soon as he exited I knew trouble was coming.”

The suspect was described as being clothed head to toe in military garb in addition to wearing full body armor and an automatic rifle ( speculated to be of Soviet origin).

“He opened fire on my parked cruiser, shattering my windshield and making me scramble out and towards the rear,” describes Trooper Staheli in chilling detail.

“He paused after firing several rounds, and I took that pause as my chance to act. I drew my USP pistol and ran West towards the trailer park, firing off several rounds as I went. Shortly after that I heard the sound of a rocket launcher being fired. The projectile then hit my vehicle and exploded, knocking me to the ground and decimating my vehicle.”

Trooper Staheli quickly rose in time to see one of the Szym trucks drive past and it was then that he heard something drop from the cab.

“I saw a grenade, which caused me to dive for cover again. After around half a minute of waiting and no explosion I surmised that the grenade was either a dummy or was not operating correctly. I did not see any more of the green trucks that day, nor of their two operators.”

Trooper Staheli believes that a task force needs to be enacted between members of the NCSHP and their MMPD ESU counterparts in order to create a seamless network of shared information and leads on Cell-13.

Proving that the term trooper applies to Staheli in more ways than just rank, he finished with this statement; “I am currently back on duty, as my wounds are not great enough to stop me from enforcing the laws in North Carolina.”

This preceded the letter in which Cell-13 not only claimed responsibility for this explosion, but also for last week’s truck explosion which set Mooby’s aflame. Please find the complete translation below:

“The attack that took place today in your pathetic city was indeed made by Cell-13.  We have remained dormant for too long plotting our next attack. The increase in number of State Troopers in your city is making a fine target as I assume you found out today at around thirteen hundred hours.  I noticed we left you a nice present –  the cold war era hand grenade.  It should make a nice addition to your evidence collection, but as I know and you know by now, there are no prints or any genetic information that you can find on this hunk of metal and explosives.  The bombing that took place some time ago at that fast food place was indeed us.  It seems that the timer was set to go off a little bit early, but no matter, there was damage still done.  Do not think we have not been watching the city. We know what is going on.  After all, we are not your ordinary terrorist cell who does not think and just acts.  We are the new breed of terror and I assure you, we will not be leaving any time soon.

Leader of Cell-13”

MMPD Officials were also delivered a copy of this letter and are actively investigating.

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