Missing Mile's Independent Voice

Archive for October, 2009|Monthly archive page

O Romero, Romero!

In Breaking News, Local News, Medical on October 12, 2009 at 6:08 pm
This HAZMAT tent was errected next to Virtue Memorial Hospital. Inside, bite victims Arashi Ryba and Zoey Clowes await the antidote serum from Dr. Richard Stevenson.

This HAZMAT tent was errected next to Virtue Memorial Hospital. Inside, bite victims Arashi Ryba and Zoey Clowes await the antidote serum from Dr. Richard Stevenson CDC.

On the streets of Missing Mile it was a case of dead men walking – literally.

Those irreparably infected with the Romero virus, commonly known as Zombies, helped themselves to a smörgåsbord of human flesh as unsuspecting citizens ran for their lives.

This is not the first time the Romero virus has surfaced in Missing Mile, though after remaining dormant for so long, the question lingers; why now? What has brought this virus of the undead back to life in our city?

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Mileposts: The Waffle Hut

In Citizens, Narrative on October 12, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Jon Haystack sits inside the Waffle Hut to write his experience of a Missing Mile favourite.

Photo and story by Jon Haystack

As I walk up to the waffle house door, my faint reflection looks straight at me between the glass, as if it was in another world parallel to this one. It mimics me, taunting me, following every action that I do and any in sight of its’ view.

Blinking twice, I go to turn the handle as it does at the exact moment and the door swings back. My reflection soon dissipates as I enter. Walking inside, I can smell the aroma of sizzling batter, warm syrup, and cooked toast. The waitress, Suzie Applebottom, is busy working behind the counter. Moving from the waffle maker to the stoves, she happily works through the day to keep those eager for waffles, well fed.

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Quick Stop Gas & Grocery at gunpoint

In Crime, Local News on October 9, 2009 at 12:30 am
Quick Stop Robbery Surv

This still was captured by Quick Stop surveillance cameras depicting employee, Manny Dryke, in surrender to the masked and armed burglar.

Quick Stop employee, Manny Dryke, was robbed at gunpoint during his first shift back following medical leave.

Dryke was preoccupied with sorting the overwhelming amount of bills that had accumulated over the past few months in his absence when the robbery occurred.

The burglar, who Dryke depicted as a “masked goomba”, demanded the employee’s arms in the surrender position and the money from the till.  Donning a shotgun, ski mask, and trench coat, the burglar was nearly unidentifiable, and according to Dryke, not particularly memorable.

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Cell-13 deliver written confession

In Breaking News, Terrorism on October 5, 2009 at 11:08 am
A letter claiming to be from the Cell-13 leader appeared after a rocket propelled explosion obliterated the patrol vehicle of North Carolina State Highway Patrol Trooper Romeo Staheli earlier today.  Remarkably, he lived to tell the tale.
“I noticed two large green Szym made utility trucks approach my vehicle. They stopped in front of the Sacred Yew and one man stepped from the driver’s side of the first truck. As soon as he exited I knew trouble was coming.”
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The suspect was described as being clothed head to toe in military garb in addition to wearing full body armor and an automatic rifle ( speculated to be of Soviet origin).
“He opened fire on my parked cruiser, shattering my windshield and making me scramble out and towards the rear,” describes Trooper Staheli in chilling detail.
“He paused after firing several rounds, and I took that pause as my chance to act. I drew my USP pistol and ran West towards the trailer park, firing off several rounds as I went. Shortly after that I heard the sound of a rocket launcher being fired. The projectile then hit my vehicle and exploded, knocking me to the ground and decimating my vehicle.”
Trooper Staheli quickly rose in time to see one of the Szym trucks drive past and it was then that he heard something drop from the cab.
saw a grenade, which caused me to dive for cover again. After around half a minute of waiting and no explosion I surmised that the grenade was either a dummy or was not operating correctly. I did not see any more of the green trucks that day, nor of their two operators.”
“I saw a grenade, which caused me to dive for cover again. After around half a minute of waiting and no explosion I surmised that the grenade was either a dummy or was not operating correctly. I did not see any more of the green trucks that day, nor of their two operators.”
Trooper Staheli believes that a task force needs to be enacted between members of the NCSHP and their MMPD ESU counterparts in order to create a seamless network of shared information and leads on Cell-13.
Proving that the term trooper applies to Staheli in more ways than just rank, he finished with this statement; “I am currently back on duty, as my wounds are not great enough to stop me from enforcing the laws in North Carolina.”
This preceded the letter in which Cell-13 not only claimed responsibility for this explosion, but also for last week’s truck explosion which set Mooby’s aflame. Please find the complete translation below:
“The attack that took place today in your pathetic city was indeed made by Cell-13.  We have remained dormant for too long plotting our next attack. The increase in number of State Troopers in your city is making a fine target as I assume you found out today at around thirteen hundred hours.  I noticed we left you a nice present –  the cold war era hand grenade.  It should make a nice addition to your evidence collection, but as I know and you know by now, there are no prints or any genetic information that you can find on this hunk of metal and explosives.  The bombing that took place some time ago at that fast food place was indeed us.  It seems that the timer was set to go off a little bit early, but no matter, there was damage still done.  Do not think we have not been watching the city. We know what is going on.  After all, we are not your ordinary terrorist cell who does not think and just acts.  We are the new breed of terror and I assure you, we will not be leaving any time soon.
Leader of Cell-13″
MMPD Officials were also delivered a copy of this letter and are actively investigating.
The letter pictured above, written in Arabic, was delivered to the Missing Mile Times office in an unmarked package. We've had it translated for our readers only to discover Cell-13 have taken credit for 2 recent explosions within Missing Mile.

The letter pictured above was delivered to the Missing Mile Times office in an unmarked package. Written in Arabic, we've had it translated for our readers only to discover that Cell-13 have taken credit for two recent explosions within Missing Mile.

A letter claiming to be from Cell-13’s leader appeared after a rocket propelled explosion obliterated the patrol vehicle of North Carolina State Highway Patrol Trooper Romeo Staheli earlier today.  Remarkably, he lived to tell the tale.

“I noticed two large green Szym made utility trucks approach my vehicle. They stopped in front of the Sacred Yew and one man stepped from the driver’s side of the first truck. As soon as he exited I knew trouble was coming.”

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A Mile in My Shoes: Delilah McDoodle

In Citizens, Interviews on October 5, 2009 at 3:32 am

del mcdoodleOnce a sporadic visitor, this interviewee has taken the plunge and moved to the Mile three weeks ago.

She doesn’t come toting machine guns, skin tight clothing, or tattoos, but she does warn against letting her big city ways fool you.

She gets upset sometimes, just like the rest of us, but overall she describes herself as a peaceful person looking for closure, a chance at happiness, and a break from the past.

It gives me great pleasure to introduce this week’s subject of A Mile in My Shoes, Delilah McDoodle.

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Drunk Driving: Over the limit under arrest

In Public Service Announcement on October 4, 2009 at 9:46 am
This billboard and LED display at the Main and Paper intersection serve as reminders of North Carolina Highway Patrol's DUI and DWI Zero Tolerance Week.

This billboard and LED display at the Main and Paper intersection serve as reminders of North Carolina Highway Patrol's DUI and DWI Zero Tolerance Week.

Just one drink before before operating a vehicle is all it will take to receive a traffic citation in conjunction with North Carolina Highway Patrol’s DUI and DWI Zero Tolerance Week.

“We are iniating an immediate campaign agianst all indviduals who have a Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) of 0.03 or higher in their system,” warned NCHP Lieutenant Richard Ceriano.

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Baxter back on Missing Mile’s streets

In Breaking News, Gangs on October 2, 2009 at 10:28 pm

JackBaxterHandoff3

MMPD Captain Lennon Daines and Lieutenant Sean Hawksby take custody of Jack Baxter from State Police liaison Lieutenant Richard Ceriano just prior to Baxter's formal release.

Jack Baxter, leader of The Firm and accused Machete Murderer, was released from prison today on to the streets of Missing Mile where he once reigned supreme.

“It’s good to be back,” said a smiling, if not taunting, Baxter.

However, it would seem the good news is not for all.  “Baxter getting out isn’t good for anyone,” countered Capt. Daines.

For members of The Firm, this is a day they’ve anticipated since his incarceration. “We are pleased that our dear friend is being given his freedom,” said one member who wished to remain anonymous.

“I can say we are all very excited of his release,” added Kytherean Thespian, reportedly The Firm’s third in command. It is this very chain of command that has the potential wreak the most havoc upon Baxter’s return to the top.

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