Missing Mile's Independent Voice

A Mile in My Shoes: Jon Haystack

In Citizens, Interviews on September 29, 2009 at 11:52 pm

jonhaystack

This week’s A Mile in My Shoes brings you someone you’ve likely seen, or likely will.

He’s the person many say was their first friend in Missing Mile so he’s not kidding when he says,  “I’m POPULAR?!”, even if he does phrase it as more of a question than a statement.

Below you’ll discover his karaoke song of choice and learn of his failed venture as a Kentucky Fried Chicken salesman.

A big advocate of Ramen, and not eating the yellow snow; meet the man and the manifestation (of what we’re not quite sure), Jon Haystack.

MMT: Could you please state your full name for the record?
JH: Jon Haystack.

MMT: And do you have any nicknames?
JH: Pyramid Head, Jon Bon, Haystack, a lot I can’t remember.
MMT: Jovi!
JH: Yarr!
[short musical interlude]

MMT: Could you describe yourself in three words for our readers?
JH: Random, silly, and amazing.
MMT: Those three seem to go hand in hand.  Err, hand in hand in hand?
JH: Uhhh.. yeah.

MMT: What’s your biggest pet peeve?
JH: Hmm. When you greet someone while passing by and they say nothing. NOTHING! How rude!
MMT:  That’s a fair one.  Though I have a bad habit of saying hello and dashing before anyone can respond.

MMT: How would you describe your role within the Missing Mile community?
JH: My role? To bring randomness where there is boredom. To bring silliness in awkward occasions. To make people laugh! I’m just a simple Waffle Hut and Tar Cafe cook.
MMT: I think silliness is something we all need in The Mile sometimes, so thank you for that.

MMT: What is your favourite place in Missing Mile and why?
JH: My favourite place is the pier at the Trailer Park.  I would sit there and talk and fish with my many friends and one in particular that I really miss.
MMT: Would that be Locksley?
JH: [sighs] Yeah.
MMT: Ever catch anything interesting?
JH: I left roses at her house..
JH: Oh! I caught some fishies. And junk parts and clothes. Very convenient!
MMT: I’ll say! Once they dry of course.
JH: Yeah.

MMT: If you could go on a road trip with one person from Missing Mile who would it be and why?
JH: Locksley. We’d go to a sushi bar in downtown Chinatown!
MMT: Fabulous!
JH: She likes sushi!
MMT: Who doesn’t?!  Mmm a little wasabi on the side makes for a good time.

MMT: What has been your most memorable moment in Missing Mile thus far?
JH: When Law and I were in chicken suits and we drove a bus around trying to sell Kentucky Fried Chicken.
MMT: Oh my gosh how did I miss that?
JH: Very easily.
MMT: Make some good coin?
JH: No one wanted it sadly.
MMT: I would’ve been down for some original recipe.  Maybe the chicken suits turned them off?
JH: Or the fact I was naked under it. Anyway! Next question!
MMT: [laughs] I hear those suits get sweaty. Moving on!

MMT: What has been your greatest accomplishment in Missing Mile thus far?
JH: When I learned how to pee standing up! No! It was when I sang karaoke at The Sacred Yew one night. A big group was there and I broke my nervousness.
MMT: That is a big accomplishment! Though I must know, what song did you sing?
JH: Wonderwall!
MMT: Classic!

MMT: What is one thing people might be surprised to learn about you?
JH: I’m actually a manifestation.
MMT: Interesting.  Could you elaborate on that? I’ve always wondered..
JH: Well, I’m a bit blurry on that. I do remember waking up on the outskirts of town and somehow walked in a daze to the statue.  One thing lead to another and here I am!
MMT:  Well, we’re glad to have you.  Though what exactly are you a manifestation of?
JH: Guilt I think.  Not sure anymore now. Maybe Ramen? Or of the town? No clue.
MMT: I think few of us are sure what we’re manifestations of, but those sound like good options to me.

MMT: Lastly , is there anything you’d like to ask me?
JH:  Where is the headlight fluid?
MMT: Headlight fluid?
JH: [shrugs]
MMT: [laughs] Uhm, I’ll Google it and get back to ya.

Editor’s Note – Headlight Fluid:  Something that you send a newbie to go get when you don’t want them around or are initiating them, usually in to a group or a club.

i.e. “Hey rookie, go get some headlight fluid and elbow grease at the store.”

(source: http://www.urbandictionary.com)

Next week’s interview: TBA

Nominations can be made in comments below.

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  1. YOUR NICKNAME IS BOX! i mentioned you twice in my interview and i gets nothing in yours *sad face* SEE IF I MAKE YOU RAMEN WHEN YOU COME TO MY SHACK! 😛

  2. Gah! NOT THE RAMEN!

  3. there there have a twaffle

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